- - 02-28-04

From Mishima's Confessions of A Mask -

What was it I understood at that moment, or was on the verge of understanding? Did the motif of later years - that of "remorse as prelude to sin" - show here the first hint of its beginning? Or was the moment teaching me how grotesque my isolation would appear to the eyes of love, and at the same time was I learning, from the reverse side of the lesson, my own incapacity for accepting love?

...

I had been handed what might be called a full menu of all the troubles in my life while still too young to read it. But all I had to do was spread my napkin and face the table...